Ancient Aliens: Season Three Review

Inset amongst all the specials on World War II, famous historical figures, and weapons that turned the tide in battles, the History Channel has cultivated a collection of programming that tries its hardest to discredit the network as having any credibility whatsoever. The biggest culprit in that ever-growing stable of shows is Ancient Aliens, a show that doesn’t have a single answer or fact to offer viewers, but instead tosses out one theory after another, each starting with “perhaps” or “maybe, just maybe”. To help bolster each of these crockpot theories, Ancient Aliens parades talking heads with dubious credentials who will say just about anything to get their moment in the sun. Do they know something about the highly suspect story of the “thunderbird”, a bird that deflected the bullets of cowboys and was said to be the “devil’s pet”? Of course they don’t, but you better believe the lack of what they know will be stretched to fill 42 minutes.
Shows that want to discuss the existence of aliens, especially ones that appear on the history channel, often fill out their runtime with stock footage and random illustrations that could be interpreted any number of ways. The only problem with approaching every somewhat mysterious event or structure on earth, whether it’s a monument, a myth or folklore, from the angle of possible extraterrestrial interference is that you blind yourself to more rational explanations. Is it impossible that cowboys saw unexplained things in the sky? No. Does that mean that a barrage of highly subjective evidence makes for anything close to proof? Definitely, not.
You really have to want to believe in aliens as the explanation for everything for Ancient Aliensto be anything but a frustrating 42-minutes of clueless individuals proffering one baseless theory after another. By the time cryptozoologists show up claiming that mythical beasts are the by-product of extraterrestrial genetic testing, anyone with a shred of rational sense will turn it off. The “authorities” are nutjobs and it all starts to feel like a bad joke. Then again, maybe we’re wrong, and maybe, just maybe, the Gorgons of Greek legend were created by aliens who wanted to see what humans looked like with snakes growing out of their heads. Apparently, aliens get bored faster than even we do. Honestly, some of these people have never heard of Occam’s Razor.
To suggest that all of these creatures were nothing else but fantasy, in my opinion, doesn’t really hold water. Because our ancestors weren’t stupid, they depicted what they saw.
– Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, Publisher, Legendary Times Magazine (in reference to the animal-human hybrids of Egyptian legend)
It’s called an imagination. You have to believe that people like this go to movies likeTransformers or Jurassic Park and immediately expect some sort of conspiracy. After all, people can’t just make that stuff up. Surely the most logical answer is that somewhere there’s an island teeming with dinosaurs grown in a lab, and the moon missions were scrubbed because we discovered Transformers on the dark side of the lunar surface. You can’t make that kind of stuff up. No sir. Also, Christian Bale leads a second and third life as a billionaire playboy and a costume-wearing vigilante.
There is no such thing as fiction. Unless…there is? Maybe, just maybe aliens, or star beings, taught our ancestors how to imagine things. Humans didn’t evolve with that skill, it was implanted into our brains by the mighty alien lord Hyklor of Grabb’ol 12. History Channel, just because you can find idiots willing to say anything for or against any point, doesn’t mean they’re worth putting on camera. Please stop.

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